I am Team Macmillan.

Back with news!

So today is Tuesday the 25th of April, obvs! Today, Macmillan Cancer Support invited and accepted me to run for them on their behalf for the Brighton Marathon 2018. *Insert Minions jumping up and down GIF here*.


This means I get a super green running vest and I get to join Team Macmillan, their elite runners. What scenes. Apparently they mean every Thursday for pints and tacos.

So, that’s exciting. ALSO.

I thought it would be uber legendary/hilarious/inspiring/idiotic to do the London Marathon a week later, so, I’m in the debating process at the moment. 52.4miles in two,  seven-day bursts.

So, just as a little bit of background history for those who don’t know about Macmillan, or even why I’m running for them? Well, they’re diamonds for a start, the personnel I’ve spoken to on the phone to get this deal over the line (I sound like a professional footballer on transfer deadline day “getting the deal over the line”) are lovely and so thankful and supportive. Also, as a charity and personnel, they’ve done huge KFC bargain buckets of helpful things for my family when my old man was kicking cancer in the crotch before cancer won 2-1 on aggregate.

I’m looking forward to working closer with them over the next 12 months, if anything, it’s going to be emotional and a giggle.

Going to go for a run tomorrow afternoon and start clocking my weekly miles up, be interested to see how many miles I can get in a week, a month and obvs between now and the marathon itself!

I don’t think I have anything else to say.

I haven’t quoted Ellen in a while, but…

Be kind to one another, bye.

Today was London Marathon Day.

As I sit here in my room at work in my underpants, watching Real Madrid v Barcelona with a “damme cold” Coors Light bottle with the mountains viewable on the bottle, (These small details are how I know my drink is correctly chilled) I’m both terrified and bloody excited for me to die in next years Brighton marathon after the London marathon today.

I was working today. I KNOW, who works on a Sunday in 2017?! I was working today so I’ve relied on Twitter for some touching moments during todays marathon.


The Swansea Harriers legend’s name is Michael Rees. He sacrificed his run time to help the Chorlton runner get through the last 200meters. His name is David Wyeth. If you haven’t seen the footage yet, I suggest you do. Have you ever seen the film Bambi?


Before David is reached by the Welsh legend, he looks like he’s rehearsing for his audition to play Bambi at the upcoming Bambi Live at Drury Lane. It is genuinely uber funny AND an uber heartstring moment.

I shouldn’t laugh, Lord knows what state I’ll be in when I attempt Brighton. Hopefully I’m more The walking dead than Bambi.

Someone from work ran today and I bumped into him attempting to climb the stairs to his room a few hours ago.

So, we’ve been going to the gym daily and I’m lifting more than I ever have before, so thats a start in itself. I’m going to start implementing cardio tomorrow too. It’s given me the bug.

I fucking hate the people who talk about gym and gym only, the type of person who has crossfit tattoo’s and marries a dumbbell. The type of person who has the social aptitude, the social skills of a fucking daffodil. They’ve got muscles the size of a pumpkin on Halloween but sound like Woody the Woodpecker.

Anyway, I basically just wanted to have my two cents on todays London Marathon, so I’m going to put my Star Wars battle lava lamp on, get into my Calvin Klein loungewear and fester into a pit of despair that tomorrow brings Monday.

Keep it real!


I’m back, it’s been a month or two, but I’m back with exciting news in tow!!

Why have I been away?

Well, I’ve been struggling to find a need to write, and I didn’t want to write just for the sake of it. But now I have some big news. Lots of news.

Firstly, lets start with what happened on Good Friday, a new road race “fun run”, the Folkestone ten miler. HIDEOUS. Not once did I really enjoy it. I found it far too flat, meaning the whole way round it was working practically just one muscle group. I think I left my calves somewhere around Sandgate at the three mile point and I still haven’t picked them up.

I was expecting it to be a quick race seeing as it was a flat route, but I was 4 minutes slower than my previous ten mile road race in Canterbury in January.Screen Shot 2017-04-15 at 10.24.56

Next news? OKAY!

I’ve teamed up with a company called “TeamLeanCuisine”. Now, let me tell you about these guys. These are a private owned business company in the early stages of being bigger than Kanye West. It is ran by James and Sarah, of which James is a soldier like myself, he’s a medic so James runs around like the bloke from Hacksaw Ridge giving it ten men. Together they are something of a health and wellness guru team.

They pride themselves by saying “inspiring everyone to live a healthier, more maintainable way of life through nutrition, diet and fitness”. Taken from a small extract of what they can offer, you can expect as a client;

  • Online coaching
  • Fat loss plans
  • Recipes
  • Product reviews and comparisons.

At this moment, the service they are offering is a six week fat loss plan at the cost of £30. Designed to give you advice and the tools you need to kickstart you on your way to greatness. The plan contains nutritional advice alongside a personal, tailored workout program.

ANYWAY, Sarah and James have taken me on board and have sponsored me for the year. So, you’ll see me over there at Team Lean Cuisine, and you’ll see them here and on my social media platforms over the coming weeks and months.





Lol at me, I’ve took this running stuff a bit too far and accidentally signed up for the Brighton Marathon next year. Granted, I was hungover and in bed when I did this but it’s still done.

I’m taking this super seriously, which is very much not like me. I’ve got a year to train, I’m envisaging myself being a machine, like the red power ranger but wearing pink because pink is better. I was anything quicker than three and a half hours.

So, with all that being said, I need to get my bum into gear.

Guys, until next time, which I think will be a lot sooner than this one has been I’ll leave the link to the Just Giving page for those less fortunate than us.


Thank you and have a great Easter.

A donation on my birthday.


I had the best birthday ever AND I had a donation. Claire donated £40. So, Claire is my sisters, husbands sister. I know I’ve probably fried your brains with that fact. So I’m at 8% of my target now.

My girlfriend bought me a FitBit, which obvs ties in well with all my running and fitness I’m doing now with this lovely cause I keep telling you about and begging you all to read my posts or donate to my cause. I’m obsessed with it and the app on my iPhone. I’m logging all my food and water intakes, that’s how far I’m taking this.

It makes me even more motivated to get a sweat on after work instead of just getting into my underwear and playing Call of Duty until my eyes bleed.

So, my left foot is still causing me aggravation, which is annoying because I want to sign up for the Deal half marathon. It’s kind of easier today though. I feel like an old man on it sometimes. “It’s the cold air”.

I’m going to do the Dymchurch 10k as well. We all know why. TRAINS BITCHEZ. The Romney, Hythe and Dymchurch miniature railway is a safe haven to me. I spent most of my childhood there, breathing in the steam locomotives and YAYing whenever one would sound its exciting whistle.


I’ll be honest. I’m not going to bore you today. I don’t have anything “fitness” or “running” related to share with you.

All I am going to say is this;

We’ve all been paid, so, I’m going to kindly beg anyone who feels compelled to do so, to share this post, to share my JustGiving page, to visit it, donate if you feel like you want to. I know I’ve said it countless times already, but it would make you happy to see what you could do for someone less fortunate and lucky than we all are.


Thank you. See you in a few days I hope.

Weekend. BirthYAY weekend.

BirthYAY. 🎈

Once again, I’m writing a blog post on the train home from another week away at work. Last Friday I told you about how I’d been on an English course for the past two weeks, enjoyed it and that it had strengthened my passion to leave this “organisation” and become the best teacher I could.

THIS WEEK, I started a Mathematics course. I’m bloody enjoying this too. My brain is slightly fried though. It’s amazing how much your memory actually keeps from school. I still knew what Pi is for example, however I did chuckle to myself because “Pi” took me back to “Educating Essex”, anyone remember that on Channel 4? The blonde chick who says “What is Pi, like, where did it come from?!” Bare hilar.

Pi, area and perimeter, graphs, you name it, its somehow all been crammed into 5 days so far. Christ, I’m sure they used to be one topic a term during school. I also found a way to find the area of a quarter of a circle that even the teacher was like “how the fuck have you done that?!” So I don’t know whether I’m smarter than a ten year old or not.

I’m 26 this weekend. *cries*

I’m excited to see what the ginger woman in my life has in store for me. I heard a rumour we’re going to watch the Chelsea game tomorrow.

So, this week it took me until Wednesday to properly be able to walk again and get back into the gym after the Canterbury ten miler, I decided to get the legs moving again just on a spin bike, threw a few weights around the room and you know, the usual manly thing that I’m really not accustomed to. I’m in the Army, but I don’t know the first thing about bleeding a radiator or anything. I can plait hair though so, swings and roundabouts.

Deal half marathon. Shall I do it? Let me know what you guys think. I think it would be a laugh, obvs I’m gonna take it with the exact same level of seriousness as the Canterbury ten, just turn up for the craic and see what happens.

I’ll be honest, I mentioned a few posts back, I want to train again, and I’ve begun to use supplements again. I also said, its easy to get lazy in the Army, which I have, so, chucking weights around and running, spinning again joined together with protein and vitamins, correct eating and a few of the correct pills, I’m really already seeing a difference. I have some definition again somehow and I look somewhat leaner, so thats exciting to see what happens the further, longer I go.

It’s the end of the month and January seems longer than the whole of 2016, where the fuck is payday?

As you all know, I’m doing ALL this for underprivileged children. Things we do or have that we take for granted, Christmas mainly. I think, me included, we take Christmas time for granted, we have presents under our trees, glorious food on our tables and wonderful loved ones to enjoy the time with us. But some children don’t have the luxury of one, or even any of those things. I think thats sad. I realised that this year. So, as you know, unless you’re new here, that’s why.

If you, anyone, can spare even £2 throughout the year, now, later, anytime. That’s huge to someone who has nothing. £2 could be whatever gift we could use it for. The more money we raise together, the more gifts can be purchased and shared.

Giving to me and seeing what difference it makes to someone else should put a huge smile on your face. A warm, fuzzy feeling. A good deed done. Doing all this, to me, it’s fun. The blogging, the raising money, the running. It’s fun. I wouldn’t be able to do it without you, the readers, the donators. Thank you.


What you can, please.

Have a nice weekend. Wish me a Happy Birthday obvs. Donate instead of giving me a card.

All the best.

Canterbury 10 miler.


Agony. I am in Agony.

So, yesterday, Sunday was my first “fun run” of the year and I threw myself in the deep end starting at ten miles instead of gently doing 5km.

As I told you all a few posts ago, I really hadn’t prepared or trained for this. I also promised you all I would be livetweeting my way round. I quickly realised I couldn’t do this, because a mile into the event, I realised THIS post I placed was so very true.screen-shot-2017-01-23-at-18-54-57

I was two miles in when my legs started to scream at me, which I’m used to. Every run you ever do in the army and I guess normal daily life is always tough until 3(ish) miles where your legs settle into a stride.

Three miles was our first water place where lots of volunteers launch a cup of quarter full water for you to do what you want with. It was at this stage I was starting to get comfortable and actually enjoy myself. I was in my stride and live on Facebook for the first time.

Throughout the run, I went live on Facebook four or five times. I could easily do this, tweeting was out of the question. The feedback, support and errrr’thing I received while going live was beyond anything I expected. Thank you.

Six miles in, on another long and foggy country road on the way to Bekesbourne, a lovely old lady stood at the end of her drive with the biggest tub of Jelly Babies for runners to take one from on the way. I misunderstood and grabbed the whole tub.

I went live twice more before I found myself a mile from the finish. I set out, although I’m not sure if i told you guys, that I wanted to finish this event at anything under an hour and a half.


Wallop. 663rd. 1 hour 27. I was also over the moon and excited when I arrived and my running number was 808. Kanye West knew.

I crossed the finish line to my friend Sophie’s huge hat. I took my trainers off and the wet, cold floor was beautiful. My girlfriend and our friend Becki, who you guys have seen here once or twice, the one who donated met me with a plain quarter pounder with cheese burger, smiles and pride. THANKS.

We all began to agree that if I actually begin to train and take this seriously, I could do some serious damage to some run times.

ALSO the fastest time was 52 minutes. What. The. Fuck?! Who runs ten miles, at five minutes mile pace the whole way? Freak.

The event, my performance and alike lead me to this, which I genuinely believe. I’m not being a sarcastic twat like normal.


I got a medal which I’m super happy about because I’ve not had a medal since my childhood days of pretending I was the fat, original Ronaldo at tournaments.

So, right now I’m in bed at work. In pain but I wouldn’t take the pain away from what I’ve began to achieve.

Thank you all for your support, funny comments and everything else you’ve all been doing, you definitely all know who you are.

It’s nearly payday for everyone. So, if anyone can be kind enough to donate to my cause now, or at any time. I would be greatly appreciated, it would change so much. Thank you for your consideration, your time to read my stories and your kind or hilarious comments.

Whatever you do, be it a comment, a share, a donation. Anything, it makes me feel so happy. I can’t fully comprehend or find the words to get my point across.



Aspirations and goals.

So, what do I want life after the army to look like?

I want to leave the army soon, for many reasons. Mainly, I’ve had enough. I want to live in the same house as my partner 24/7. I don’t want to leave and come back each weekend. I want to work normal hours again, in a normal job. I want to have a conversation with someone without being looked down upon. I miss the days of working in retail, or a call centre and talking to a supervisor or having a normal conversation with them for example.

I know what I want to do, or what I would like to do. But getting there is the hard part.

In life, I have one major regret. I hugely regret not going onto higher education, hitting university like a baby polar bear meeting snow for the first time and conquering everything put in front of me.

I love learning now. But, like most people at 15 or 16 years old, I hated it. I hated school, sitting in a classroom and listening to a teacher waffle on. But now, thats what I can’t get enough of.

So, when I leave the army, I want to actually BE a teacher who waffles on. To my knowledge there are a number of ways to go about it.

  • The Government lead Troops to Teachers scheme.
  • Open University.
  • Have the army pay for my degree.
  • Have a school pay for my degree.
  • Anything else I don’t yet know about.

Each option, at the moment, has huge hurdles I need to get over.

Just leaving the army is a huge hurdle. It come with great fear. I’m actually in a better place than most who leave, I’ve already worked civilian jobs. I know what to expect, how to go about things. Taking that leap of faith and leaving is terrifying, everyone says this.

I had a friend of mine, James. He handed his notice in to leave the army this week. He had had enough too. Enough of basically being treated like a moron. Its 2017 after all. James said, literally minutes after handing his notice in, he felt free. Freedom. Like a huge weight off his shoulders. But before handing his notice in, fear. Everyone who does it says the same. Fear. After fear, comes relief. Happiness. Excitement. Euphoria.

So, for the past fortnight, I’ve gone back to school myself. Ive gone back to English class. I got an E in English GCSE, mainly down to what I touched on earlier, just not being interested in 2007. Regarding my GCSE grade of E, as you may be able to realise through this blog, my English is far from at a level warranting an E.

I went into this English course, and my teacher very quickly realised this. Pulled me aside and told me what I longed to hear. Something to reaffirm my confidence, my motivation. The knowledge, my longterm goal to be a teacher could be achieved. She told me I work at a level far beyond anything required in that classroom.

Throughout the two weeks, the work I produced would be marked, critiqued and handed back to me, with some, to one side private conversations regarding myself and my work.

“You write beautifully” or “Thank you, excellent, truly wonderful piece of work” would send me away smiling, proud of myself. Excited to get back into the classroom the next day to continue to learn something new. To take something away with me again.

It’s important to know, I do class myself as educated. I class myself as intelligent. But, intelligent at certain things. I know what Pi is for example. But I don’t know how to measure range. I know what a subordinate clause is, but my knowledge of literature is low.

JK Rowling was who got me to read. I could pick up a Harry Potter book and lose myself for hours.

I’m clever with certain topics. Something I’m passionate about, I know more than I should about. Where I really, I genuinely kick myself for not trying harder at school. I know things about Adolf Hitler, or WW2. Pearl Harbor. Titanic. Moments in time that fascinate me.

Football. I’m the most intelligent person when it comes to football. Much of my adult life I’ve spent relatively single and relatively friendless. I’m not trying to pull at anyones heart strings, its just the truth. So, i would just sit and watch football. On a  weekend. 5 maybe 7 live matches. Instead of going out, I’d be then watching Match of the Day.

Other things I know more about that I wish I could substitute for a knowledge more suitable for a classroom.

  • Harry Potter. As mentioned, if someone comes at me and tries to do me at a HP quiz, you best know who you’re up against. I even have the Deathly Hallow’s tattoo’d on my person for Christ sake.
  • FRIENDS. Again, bring your A game if you’re going to battle me there.

I love to learn. I just wish I did when I was younger. I kick myself not carrying on education.

I’m devastated my English course has come to an end. It’s made me so determined to get back into a classroom again. Next time I want to be in a classroom because I’m learning to teach. And then after that, I want my own classroom.

Scary weekend.


It’s Friday. I’m back on the train home from Shawshank Aldershot (Shawshank Redemption referral there, because being in the army is sort of like being a prisoner) back home.

This weekend, as I hope many of you are excitedly waiting for, brings my first “fun run”, a ten mile road race round Canterbury. YAY.

This weekend is also bringing a trip to IKEA tomorrow, which is equally as daunting. Go there looking for one thing and end up leaving with half a kitchen. We need a new bed, our one has broke. And NO before anyone asks.

Apart from this weekend bringing those two things, more importantly of course, my “fun run” and the opportunity to raise some serious funds from kind people, It’s also Donald Trump’s inauguration. Christ.

Not primarily what this blog is for, but I’m going to touch on the fact I’m going to seriously miss the Obama’s and I feel the World, not just the United States of America will be a poorer place without them in power.

In my opinion many people, American’s mostly, refuse to acknowledge just what Barack Obama has done during his tenure. (Bet those of you who know me well didn’t think I’d know a word such as tenure.) He’s done so much, not only for his country, but for the rest of the world too.

He’s battled healthcare in America and introduced Obamacare. Fought gun laws and gun crime across the country and battled the unemployment rates.

He also bloody only went and found Osama Bin Laden. WALLOP.

I have something else I actually want to blog about, I think I’ll do that one a little later this evening. I actually hope this post is well received and read as always before my second later on.

As usual. You can do something good today, on a sunshine filled Friday and donate to my cause, leaving a good feeling for yourself that you’ve helped someone less fortunate than yourself.

You can leave a donation here; http://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/giveakidagift

Please, I love to see that people are enjoying my posts, reading them too. Share, comment, show your uncle and even that bully you used to hate. Retweet and all sorts. Do whatever you can, whatever you want to do. It all means the world to me. I feel like I say this all the time.

Cheers Barack.

Hump day. Honesty day.

Hey hombres and whatever is Mexican for females.

I began this post yesterday, on Tuesday and I’m finishing it today.

I wanted to have a blog post for you yesterday but I found myself at 9pm watching the football after playing Call of Duty in my underwear for countless hours after work.

Work right now is SO enjoyable, I’m back at school learning some new English and Math GCSE work. I have my setbacks, somewhat hindering my progress in wanting to leave the army and be a normal person again capable of holding a conversation with a human who isn’t a moron. All this makes me massively regret not going onto further education and hitting university like a beaver building a dam.

Someone messaged me saying “your blog is funny, I didn’t expect you to have such a nice writing style” and I don’t know if thats an insult or not.

My hamstrings in my right leg feel awfully tight, its somewhat painful and I’m weary they’re going to tear between now and the end of my ten mile race coming up this Sunday.

I came to the conclusion Monday was the least humorous post I’ve ever given you guys. SOZ!

I’ve had some wonderful promises of some up and coming donations, so when they happen I’ll let errrrr’one know the good news. I’ve actually not had a single word back from Heart radio, the Folkestone Gazette and Dover Express. I’m hardly surprised, a bloke blogging and running to raise money isn’t exactly life changing news. It was a long shot I guess.

So today, I got into the gym this afternoon after work, got the legs moving and GUESS WHAT. I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I’ll be honest for a moment, recently, the last few months and maybe beyond, I’ve got lazy. It’s easy to do here. I just did a half hour spin session today, I can’t wait to get back tomorrow, throw some weights around the room.


My partner always makes me feel like I’m carved from a Greek God, treating me like a piece of meat at the smallest sign of a bicep. I’d like to actually have a bicep to give her. I’d like to actually make some sort of effort.

Guys, they say sharing the Just Giving page on Facebook is good for £10. Lets see what we can do.

Tomorrow I’ll show you what sort of supplements and alike I’ve began to use again. If you guys think thats what you’d like, let me know. If there’s something you want me to show you or talk about, do that too.


Monday. Blues or Not?

Hopefully for those who remember from Friday, everyone is probably wondering straight away what happened Saturday morning. Did I get to Parkrun?


The bacon and sausage baguette’s I made were something else.

It’s Monday now, and its the stark realisation that in 6 days I’m running 10 miles for myself, for you guys and for the real reason, to raise money and I guess awareness for those underprivileged children and how genuinely fortunate and lucky we are to have what we perhaps see as luxuries.

My partner, who some of you may know who she is, has bought me a running vest type thing for me to use in the many events I’ve pencilled in.

It’s also my birthday on the 28th of this month. NOW if any of you are thinking of getting me a present. Don’t. I’d much rather you donate to my cause. You’d feel good about yourself. A good deed. Helping someone less lucky than you’ve been.

I’ve recently, much because of my venture this year, have got back into healthy eating and supplements. NOW I’m not a fitness or health guru but I like to think I know enough. If anyone wants me to share what I use and what I do, I’d love you to let me know as readers and I’ll do that.

I’d like to start to blog daily, but I just don’t know I have the content. The ability to keep people interested.

I can’t wait for this weekend. I have one or two friends running on the day too. As you all have read previously I’ll be live on Facebook on the route. For those who don’t have me on Facebook, I would urge you to follow my Twitter @maarktugwell. I’ll be livetweeting my way round. If I realise how to go live on Instagram, I’ll do that too. @marktugwell for IG.

My partner said about getting the hashtag #giveakidagift on my running vest. I’m not sure if she did in the end but hey lets hashtag it on the day. I wanted Vardy Party on the back. Not “appropriate” apparently.

GUYS, SOZ I realise this post might not have been as funny as all previous posts. But as always let me stress one last point. Yes, i’ll admit I say it a lot in my posts, but please share it, comment on it or on the Facebook link, retweet it or tweet me. Because as I always say, the knowledge and recognition from you guys that its being read and enjoyed keeps me going, makes me smile and want to do more and more. Really, honestly it does. So please do that.


There is the link to my Just Giving page. You know the story. Thank you.

Lets make a Monday not so bad. You’ll feel good about yourselves.